For this conservative mom, lack of a dance studio dress code leaves too much room for self-expression.

I understand your ongoing frustration with the declining values and the ever changing, increasingly creative dress code at your daughter’s dance studio. During our phone call you spent a lot of time complaining about the way in which students are dressing and the negative impact it’s having on your 11 year old daughter. You referred to your value system as “old school” and continually apologized for it.  If you don’t like what’s happening at your studio relative to the way students are dressed, then it may be time to move on.

I’ve done hundreds of in studio workshops over the years. I can sometimes anticipate what my experience is going to be based on the way students are dressed. Here are the extremes:

• Studio A dancers are all about their looks. They have professionally manicured nails, waxed eyebrows, trendy haircuts and highlights; full-on makeup and their abs are constantly on display. I’m talking about the 12 year olds and even I feel inferior.
• Studio B dancers do their own thing. Their hair is all over the place, they wear street clothes: baggy pants, shorts, tee shirts and whatever jewelry expresses their mood for the day. I recall a lot of Hot Topic gear.
• Studio C dancers keep it simple. They all wear pink tights, black leotards, and their hair is worn neatly in ballet buns, absolutely no jewelry – end of story.

Kids and teens have one less thing to worry about when studio mirrors are used for correcting technique and not for comparing one pair of booty shorts to another. I’ve experienced more relaxed and joyful dancers when distractions regarding clothing are minimized. Dancers who look and act like dancers focus on dancing and not on maintaining standards set by other students. Uniformity helps to establish expectations, adherence to standards and the sublimation of wealth and self-expression.

If you’re unhappy with the dress, behavior and attitude of students at your studio consider having a chat with either the studio owner teacher. If you want to move your daughter simply explain to her your reasons and please…don’t apologize for your point of view.

Parents, especially those with very young dancers, peer through the looking glass at your studio. Whatever the behavior, culture, norms, values and opinion expressed by the senior dancers, that’s what you’re headed towards with your child. Are the older students happy, free-spirited, joyful and helpful around the studio? Sounds good to me. Studies show people in a good mood are more likely to: thrive, engage in group activities, resolve conflicts faster, collaborate rather than compete and be helpful to others.

Select a studio that has a culture consistent with your morals and values. It takes more than high kicks, flawless technique and shelves of competition trophies to make a good dance studio. Every studio has its own culture and they all have merit. Choose wisely!